Self
This series of self-portraits is inspired by Renée Cox’s style of regaining power by having the subject, typically herself, look back at the viewer, as well as LaToya Ruby Frazier’s documentary photography utilizing herself as the subject of her feminist work. In a separate essay, I further relate Griselda Pollock and Laura Mulvey’s analyses of femininity and visual pleasure depicted in media to the works derived by Cox and Frazier. As said by Cox, “once you have the power, you always have the power. The power comes from within. It’s not a state of mind: the real power comes from the heart. All women have it. It’s a matter of cultivating – and realizing – that power. You have to feel it.”
Headache, 2023
This is what it feels like to experience debilitating chronic migraines as a working college student. The one moment of clarity in my week where the migraines aren’t in control of my every move allow me to hold power of my schedule, get things done, and feel confident in my work, hence looking back into the camera through all the blur.
Gymnastics, 2023
Putting on my competition leotard for the first time since I was 16 (nearly five years ago) holds many emotions and memories. Having to medically retire as a teenager was a heartbreaking defeat to my gymnastics career, however, looking back in the years following made me realize a lot about myself and the sport. Overcoming a double stress fracture of my spine; a concussion; injured shoulder, wrists, ankles, and knee; an eating disorder; and negative reinforcement, while getting back to competition each time, all for years before even becoming a legal adult, has made me a stronger person, capable of anything I set my mind to.
Lech Lecha, 2023
In the Jewish tradition, you become a man/woman following your Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Being called to the Bema to read your Torah portion for the congregation is an honor bestowed on Jewish young adults around the world. Being Jewish is something I am immensely proud of. I had the privilege to share my Bat Mitzvah with my Bubie’s first cousin Yankov, murdered during the Holocaust before he was old enough to be called to the Bema. Carrying my Bubie’s story of her survival as a hidden child during the Holocaust, makes me proud to be a Bergstein, part of a lineage of strong, unwavering women dedicated to making the world a better place with our time here.
Tape, 2023
I have learned to use my voice and tell my story to others who have experienced similar predicaments to what I’ve gone through. I chose to plan and lead a survivor walk-out my first year of college to raise awareness of the sexual violence committed on college campuses across the United States. I have shared my story and have been met with disbelief and unacceptance as well as relatability and understanding. In doing so, I have contributed to the narrative of survivors overcoming the silence they are expected to maintain.
Dance, 2023
Throughout my three years in college so far, I have dedicated my time outside of classes to working for the Northeastern University and Harvard University athletic departments, curating creative content for their athletes. Being in front of a camera for this project has been a paradoxical experience, but in doing so, I have gotten to express myself in the way I see me through my own eyes. Dance has become part of my life this year, and therefore I choose to depict myself the way I depict other athletes.
Yes-Man
In this photographic essay, Gwyneth Philips, Northeastern University’s D1 women’s ice hockey goalie, provides a glimpse into her life that demonstrates she’s more than just a student-athlete, but an intelligent and hard-working woman with a story.
Adventures with Gwyneth and Paris
Gwyneth is a senior at Northeastern University studying industrial engineering. She is from the small town of Athens, Ohio where she fostered her passion for the outdoors and built a tough exterior that allowed her to embrace extreme conditions. While she grew up playing hockey, she also has enjoyed spending her free time skiing/snowboarding, biking, hiking, going on road trips, camping, backpacking, and traveling.
Culture Shock
(From left: Faith Rosenblatt, Gwyneth Philips, Lily Yovetich, Abbey Marohn and Halle McCabe)
Gwyn expressed how incredible it is that Northeastern has placed an emphasis in recent years on recruiting athletes with a positive culture. When her first college offers came in, Gwyn didn't know to look at team culture in evaluating the experience she would have. She explained that in her recruitment process, she didn't know where she would be academically or athletically by the time college came which is why it was so hard to commit early on in high school. She postponed her decision until her junior year and was relieved to find out that the culture Northeastern fostered was a warm and uplifting one since she was hearing horror stories about other schools.
Eyes Up
All eyes are on Gwyn. While she experiences external pressure to perform on the ice, she feels the goalie voice people hear and the athlete people see are other defining pressures she must uphold to fit the mold of what people perceive a student-athlete is like in person. Commonly, people can't comprehend how hard she's working at obtaining her degree at the same time that she's defending Northeastern's Women's ice hockey title.
Snap, Crackle, Pop
The worst injury Gwyn has ever endured was a break, straight across the top of her hand. This was from a snowboarding accident and unfortunately, took quite a bit of convincing for her coaches to believe that something was wrong. However, they stuck a larger glove over her hand as it was healing to keep her in the game.
Through Rose-Covered Glasses
Gwyn is about to embark on her second coop in manufacturing after successfully completing her first coop in project management and processing. Although she was undeclared going into her junior year of college, she is now confident with her industrial engineering major and is excited to use the degree she has been working toward. Gwyn wishes more people would see past her role as a goalie or an athlete to uncover her depth as a scholar and an aspiring engineer. If people saw how hard she worked not only at her sport but also in her academics, she knows people would get a more comprehensive understanding of her character.
Loud and Clear
Gwyn has used key words throughout her hockey career and has watched them change as her career has evolved. In high school, she reminded herself that she was there to have fun, it was just a game, and she didn't have to be too focused on winning. When she got to college and played under Aerin Frankel, she told herself to relax, yet felt she had something to prove to be the starting goalie when Frankel graduated the following year. This year, as the starting goalie, she has focused on staying confident, collected, true to herself, supportive of her teammates, and playing her own game. These key words have been successful for her but it has been especially important to make the ice her territory and play her position as Gwyn and not any other goalie who came before her.
Walk a Mile in My Skates
As Gwyn thinks about her future, she is excited about the prospect of playing overseas and staying involved in hockey post graduation. She doesn't see Northeastern as the end of her hockey story but also doesn't feel it needs much more of an epilogue. Gwyn is ready to keep moving forward and embrace the world of engineering with Paris by her side.
Dog Pile
(From left: Lily Yovetich, Gwyneth Philips, Abbey Marohn, Paris, Faith Rosenblatt, Halle McCabe, Bean and Brew)
Throughout her time at Northeastern, Gwyn has not only grown close with her teammates but with the girls in the other D1 sports at the university. Due to similar training schedules and bonding experiences, some of her teammates and fellow athletes have become some of her closest friends. Since she's one to keep her circle of friends tight-knit, she's glad to have met people who value her friendship the way she values theirs.
French Kisses
Gwyn's dog, Paris, a super friendly, five year old French bulldog, is almost as excited for adventure as her mom. Their summers are normally jam-packed with activities such as visiting Acadia, hiking Mount Washington and even driving to Alaska. One fun fact about Gwyn is that she's always down to say yes because she loves to try new things, hence the three-week road trip she recently took with friends through the American West.
The Urban Nomad
When asked where she sees herself in the future, Gwyn mentioned that after seeing her teammates enjoy playing hockey overseas, she may decide to reap the benefits of her athletic career and do the same for a little while. Ultimately, she will return to Boston to use her engineering degree, "I've worked damn hard for my degree and I intend to use it." There she sees herself living on a boat with Paris in the Boston Harbor. She says she could sit in this position for hours and enjoy sailing around Boston on her days off of work.